Okay, look at that sparkle on your finger! Seriously, take a second. Done? Good. (If you’re a dude, we’re both now wondering why you have sparkly fingers?) Now, listen closely because the champagne phase is over, darling. You have entered the trenches of planning, and without a strategy, this dream day can turn into a nightmare faster than you can say “cash bar.” I am here to guide you through how to select wedding vendors with a little sass, a lot of truth, and zero tolerance for mediocrity. Let’s build your squad (is squad out? LMK what gen Z has classified their groups as).

The Search: Where on Earth Do I Start Looking for These People?

First, close the forty-seven browser tabs (yes I’m talking to myself, I’m currently at 68 across 4 browsers… Who said you can’t be a functional ADHD adult). You are overwhelming yourself. When considering where to find vendors for your wedding, start with your friends… If you’re not the first person in your friend group to have gotten married, you’ll have A LOT of resources. Using the same photographer as your BFF isn’t weird. It’s a compliment to their ability to pick good vendors!
If you don’t have friends, social media is your new friend (or I guess BFF in this case), but use a critical eye. Instagram is a highlight reel, not reality. I rely on stalking—I mean, researching—to find the truth.

• Check Tagged Photos: Don’t look at the vendor’s feed; look at the photos guests tagged them in. That is what their work actually looks like.
• Ask the Venue: They see these people every weekend. If the venue manager rolls their eyes at a caterer’s name, take the hint.
• Read the “Middle” Reviews: Ignore the 5-star raves from their mom and the 1-star rants from bridezillas. The 3 and 4-star reviews tell the truth about punctuality and attitude.

The Planner: Do I Really Need One, or Can I Just Wing It?

Unless you enjoy stress crying at 2:00 AM, hire a planner. Or if you’re the type of person who gets off on planning everything in life (then this part is SUPER feasible and a great way to save money). My wife and I thought we were when we got married in 2019, but we eventually got a point where we didn’t know what we didn’t know. So we hired a last minute coordinator who helped piece all of our little details together while cutting down majorly on overall costs. You need someone who will body-check a rebellious aunt trying to rearrange the seating chart or Uncle Todd who’s demanding the bar needs to be open prior to the ceremony.

• The Disaster Question: Ask them, “What went wrong at your last wedding and how did you fix it?” I want the problem-solver, not the one who claims perfection.
• Personality Match: You will talk to this person more than your fiancé for the next year. If they annoy you now, they will infuriate you later.

The Venue: How Do I Choose a Space That Doesn’t Feel Like a Conference Room?

The venue is the canvas. If you pick a spot with ugly carpet, no amount of uplighting will save you. I prioritize flow and hidden costs over everything else. Make sure to pry when talking to the staff. Not just the sales rep. Ask to talk to the day-of manager. If she’s stressed or has a bad vibe – RUN.
Also clarify what all is included in their packages. Sometimes a well-stocked venue saves you lots of money over renting everything after the fact.

• The “Plus Plus”: Ask specifically about service charges, cake-cutting fees, and corkage fees.
• The Rain Plan: If the backup plan is a damp hallway, keep looking. (seriously we live in the PNW)
• Lighting: Consider how it’ll look in whatever season you’re wanting to book. Not how it looks on whatever day you randomly showed up.

The Photographer: Will They Make Me Look Like a Supermodel or a Potato?

The cake gets eaten, but the photos are forever. Picking wedding vendors for this category requires looking at full galleries, not just the “best of” shots. You also REALLY need to consider how they’ll shoot you… Not the best looking supermodel that they have for their instagram profile picture. This is a harder one to pick, but look for people who will help you when your back hurts and you’re looking like the hunchback.
Seriously, I’ve seen so many “good” photographers who will just ignore the fact there’s spinach between the grooms teeth and go away shooting without saying a thing.

• The Vibe Check: This human is in your face for 8 hours. If they don’t make you feel confident and calm during a coffee chat, they won’t do it on the wedding day.

Catering: Is It Possible to Serve Food That Isn’t Dry Chicken?

Yes, but you have to be ruthless. Catering is your biggest expense, so stop trying to please everyone with a bland “chicken or fish” option.

• The Tasting Rule: If it’s bad at the tasting (cooking for two), it will be terrible for 200.
• Creative Stations: Think taco bars or late-night pizza. Feed people food they actually want to eat.
• Logistics: Ensure they cook on-site or have a solid plan to keep food hot. Cold steak is a crime.
• Ask how they keep food warm. Great food turns awful quickly when it’s cold.

The Florist: Can They Do More Than Just Rose Centerpieces?

Flowers are the jewelry of the event. And like jewelry – you can completely blow through your budget if you really want to. Or you can go super cheap and stop by the farmer’s market.
Your flowers will ONLY be memorable if you’re going ALL out. If you don’t plan on spending 10k+ on florals, then don’t worry about it because no one else will ever remember.

• Trust the Artist: Give them a palette and a “vibe,” then let them create. Micromanaging kills the magic.
• Be Realistic: If you want peonies in December, prepare to pay a fortune. Listen when they suggest in-season alternatives.

The DJ: How Do I Ensure They Won’t Play the Chicken Dance?

Music controls the energy. A bad DJ kills the party instantly. TheKnot sent out data that said the #1 most memorable aspect of your wedding will be the entertainment. Make sure that memory is a positive one! Even if you’re not huge dancers, consider if your guests will be? There’s really no reason to spend 20-100k on a wedding just for your guests to leave immediately after eating the cake because you have no entertainment. I promise, the forals or the photographer will not keep them there. They’ll stay and spend time with you because they’re having a good time in a great space (venue is important!)

• The “Do Not Play” List: This is sacred. If they don’t respect it during the interview, run.
• Mix it Up: Ask if they can incorporate live elements
• MC abilities are a must
• The ability to read the room (your playlist you spent month’s on doesn’t reflect the energy in the venue in the MOMENT.

Contracts: Are You Ready to Read the Fine Print Before Signing?

We have arrived at the boring part. Once you find “The One,” read that contract with a highlighter. Picking wedding vendors is about trust, but contracts are about protection.

• Cancellation Policies: Post-2020, you need to know what happens if the world shuts down.
• Payment Schedule: Never pay 100% upfront.
• Deliverables: Ensure everything promised verbally is written down.
• If something doesn’t work – Ask if they’re flexible or can update it! But this really shouldn’t be necessary for any pros who’ve been doing this for any amount of time.

So, take a breath. You have a roadmap. Go assemble your squad and plan the party of the century!